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My first Xanax reminded me of the power of meditation
Drugs are teachers, for attentive students
Last Tuesday I woke up to a mounting sense of dread. I had an MRI scheduled that evening to check my brain for… anything unusual.
My doctor saw something in a recent panel of bloodwork and ordered the scan with high priority. Don’t worry, the results came back normal. But when I woke up that morning I couldn’t stop myself from feeling stressed over the potential need for surgery or other invasive treatments.
Throughout the day I used deep breathing and physical exercise to lower my anxiety. By the time I arrived at the hospital’s imaging department I felt calm and prepared. Regardless, I took the sedative my doctor prescribed to help me stay still during the noisy 35 minute brain scan.
I’m not a fan of pharmaceuticals
I always look for alternatives to chemical medications, especially when it comes to long-term use. I’ve taken anti-anxiety medication in the past, but very few sedatives, and never anything as powerful or long-lasting as Xanax.
When I popped the pill I already felt peaceful, but as I changed into a hospital gown and got into the machine my mind settled further, undisturbed as the surface of a solitary pond.
